Trapped In An Insane Time & Body

This is me in November of 2020

Part One: Prelude To This Madness

I have always wanted to live without the hassle of wanting to be seen or acknowledged by myself and some other random strangers who don’t give a damn about who I am. In sincerity, I have always wanted to vanish without a trace. And 2020 came as the perfect time; a time where a sane madman like me could live in an insane abysmal period.

Part Two: Love, Butterflies & Heartbreak

At the beginning of 2020, I set my goals for the year. And one of them was finding love. But maybe my problem wasn’t finding love after all, because it had always been present. Maybe my problem was acknowledging my feelings in their early form. So, in pursuit of love, I had sent Lola her letter, the very first letter professing my love to someone after my bittersweet experience in 2013.

Part Three: A Reluctant Adult in an Insane Body

Part Four: Home is Where Peace Is

Malik and Rianat
At The Threshold Of A Sane Madman

Part Five: Grief is Brief

“Hello, Mr. Kolade Ademola Malik!”

Part Six: Living in Denial

After we came back to being friends and more, I always get mad at Adeife when she says she wants to do something for me before she moves on. As much as I want her to do something for me, I don’t want it to be like a memento. I don’t want to get caught up in another cuffs of memories lurking in my head. But Adeife is strong-headed, she apparently won’t listen, especially when it involves brushing off my ego.

Part Seven: Sometimes, regret doesn’t breed hate

I have always read it somewhere that never ask a girl out when you are lonely, because you may end up regretting the break up if not done mutually. And that was what happened between myself and Tola.

Part Eight: Often times, Hope does not Lie In-between

In-between, 2020 has taught me to be grateful for the life I have lived and the ones I am yet to live. It really propelled me to accepting my reality, and there’s little or nothing that I can do to correct it. It has also made me to seek penance for my shortcomings, and perhaps be birth a new.



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Malik Kolade

Malik Kolade

Thinker and Writer | Design Enthusiast | Advocate for Inclusive Digital Skills At Secondary Education Level. "I am lost, and I want to be found."