Why We Are Always Mute When We Reach Our Threshold

Imagine waking up very early in the morning, after a night of wars between your walls, fighting to win over your gemini, and you’ve even forgotten in the process of fighting, who is real and who’s the duplicate. Imagine waking up that mild morning and telling an African parent that you have a mental health issues. Imagine…

Now imagine the African parents are uneducated literate. Imagine they even speak English fluently despite not learning beyond Form 5. Imagine they know the importance of you going to school and giving you the best of education, but are still in the world of having mental health issues means someone is MAD. Imagine what’ll happen afterwards, you’ll be looked in the eyes and be responded with, “but you’re looking okay!”

Now imagine you try to argue it out that you’re not okay, that you’re sick, that you have mild depression, that you are at your threshold. Imagine you telling them you’re a MAD man, but you still have your sanity. Imagine what they’ll do thereafter. Maybe you’ll sleep someday and wake up on a prayer mountain. Maybe you’ll be called from work only to get home to meet the clergy man shouting “I cast the devil out in you with the blood of Jesus!”

Imagine you haven’t told an African parent because of that, and you choose to tell a friend despite how you cherish your private space. Imagine sitting far from each other, perhaps a thousand miles or an ocean apart, and she started the conversation with a pop-up, “Heyyo! What’s up?” Imagine your reluctance to reply, and you’ve fought so hard to want to say you’re not fine. Imagine how you left the message unread for days, only to come back to say, “you’re fine!”

Imagine you tell her, and some day you get in a fight with some random person, and she has to get your back, imagine what’ll happen if she says, “Heyyo! You’re hurting him… Do you not know he has mental health issue? Do you not know he has mild depression?” Imagine how you’ll feel, she’s got your back but stabbed you in the heart.

Imagine you then choose to tell a professional, perhaps a therapist or counselor. Imagine the strength that you’ve pulled to speak up. Imagine the courage you’ve summoned, imagine the fears you’ve bottled just to say, “Heyyo counselor, I need help!” Imagine having to skip your sessions because you feel insecure with a stranger. Imagine having to feel guilty that you’re skipping sessions despite the professionalism the therapist or counselor has channeled to help you. Imagine…

It’s easy to say to a sane madman that he should speak up when he reaches his threshold, and it’s easy to blame him of not speaking out, but before you cast the blame, remember why we are always mute when we reach our threshold.

Thinker and Writer | Design Enthusiast | Advocate for Inclusive Digital Skills At Secondary Education Level. "I am lost, and I want to be found."